Two shows, one recap. The Real Housewives of New York City Season 16, Episode 7 wraps up the Moskito Island trip, and I’m giving it a seven and a half, maybe a seven, and honestly I’m being generous. Then I watched The Golden Life premiere on E!, and I’d give that an eight. I pre-recorded this from Los Angeles, no notes, fresh off the dome, because I’m on a work trip. RHONY’s edit is still giving White Lotus, but the fighting between Erin, Sai and Jessel feels produced, and Carole still doesn’t fit. Let’s get into it.

You Were Mad at Erin, So You Brought Up Pavit?

Erin finally confronts Sai and Jessel about the rumor, and that’s when Jessel says it out loud: Erin said her husband was gay. This is the Pavit-at-Equinox story, and Carole says she heard the same thing years ago from the guy from The RealReal. Erin swears it didn’t come from her, pulls out a receipt from someone who works with her, and tells Sai that whatever Jenna heard secondhand, it wasn’t from her. Here’s the thing. Even if Erin said it, it was three years ago. Sai was mad at Erin about something else and decided to bring up an old rumor on camera to Jessel. If anybody should be disgusted, it’s Jessel, and she should be disgusted at Sai. But did y’all notice Jessel didn’t seem hurt or upset? I think she’s in on it. A lot of these fights between the three women carried over from the last reboot feel rehearsed. And after last week’s episode, Pavit and Jessel posted a parody of him going to the Equinox. Carole even commented that she made it seem horrendous on the show and is making light of it now. And this is the same Sai who repeated Erin’s insurance business. Come on now.

“I feel like you’re reaching to have an issue. You’re trying to produce a moment.”

Carole, a Ponzi Scheme Is Not the Epstein Files

Sai and Carole do sit down, and Carole explains her “colorful past” comment. It’s about Sai bartending at Scores, and Carole not being sure that was all she did. Then Carole brings up a man Sai wrote about on her Substack who turned out to be part of a Ponzi scheme, and says Sai should understand having your name attached to something you had nothing to do with. Carole, a Ponzi scheme is illegal, but it’s not the same level as the Epstein files. Also, if you’re our age, you know there were women who bartended at those clubs and lived well off tips without ever getting on a stage. That comment shows how out of touch she is. Now Carole is on the cover of the New York Post for dodging tickets, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s a crisis-management move to change the subject. Elsewhere, Haley won’t talk about where her money comes from while saying Gucci is cheap, a New York apartment isn’t expensive, and Reuben named two yachts after her. She’s open about everything else, so why not that? She’s getting the fun, kooky edit, and she is funny, but I haven’t forgotten the DMs that influencer received from her. I don’t think she’s 100% who we think she is. We shall see.

The Midseason Trailer Is Why I’m Still Here

I said the midseason trailer would decide whether I keep recapping, and it’s good. Devyn Simone, who y’all may remember from The Real World and as a Wendy Williams Show correspondent, joins the group, and she and Sai look stunning sitting across from each other, but I don’t love seeing the two brown girls set up against each other. The next trip is Martha’s Vineyard, where Carole says she hasn’t been since the summer of ’99. That’s where JFK Jr., Carolyn Bessette and her sister were flying the night of the crash, and it’s dark. Erin says their business is dead. Jessel tells Pavit he walks around the house like he resents her, and he just looks back down at his food. Lindsay from Summer House pops in. Jessel accuses Daisy of being unfaithful, Erica calls Daisy vile and disgusting for talking about her husband, and Daisy throws her chair in the pool and walks off, saying she’s not having six girls against her. Daisy, you’ve had it out for Erica this whole trip, and it’s getting tired. Now, Radar Online says the ratings have been bad, and I don’t think we can keep blaming streaming. Live viewership matters.

Carole, They Dressed Up Because It’s a Girls Trip

I have to say it: Carole doesn’t mesh with this group, and it’s not about age, because you honestly can’t tell. Shout out to you, Carole. It’s the energy. She’s sitting there in her tube socks asking why everyone’s in gowns. Because it’s a girls trip, and this is the new era of RHONY. The fans want to see these women dress up and have a fabulous time. They don’t want humdrum. Meanwhile, Erica walks out in a J.Lo gown and says she rented it. She might be a billionaire, but she’s never wearing it again, so why buy it? That’s how rich people stay rich, and some of these women could learn a thing or two. Daisy, on the other hand, complains the whole trip. There’s no food, and her Mounjaro is running out. There was a cockroach at one point, and I’m not holding that against Erica, because they’re on a Caribbean island, but Daisy will. No wonder Erica says she’s not invited back. I did love seeing Sai, on crutches after hurting her knee, at the bar kikiing with Daisy. I want more of that friendship. And after Martha’s Vineyard, I’m good on the JFK, Carolyn Bessette and Epstein of it all. Where else do we go with Carole?

Sonja Made Luann Look Normal

Now The Golden Life, and I’ll be honest, I enjoyed it more than RHONY. It was supersized, an hour and six minutes, and these women have real history you can feel. The hard part to watch was Sonja. Her beef with Dorinda is front and center, she’s still stuck in the past, and watching her be this belligerent and messy wasn’t entertaining to me. There’s no evolution, and that matters for a reality personality. I’m not diagnosing her, but something is off. She says she tried to sell her townhouse for $15 million, was told nobody would pay that and took a loss, and remember that multimillion-dollar judgment, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t much equity left. Luann was a hot mess on Ultimate Girls Trip, but next to Sonja she seemed normal, and that tells you a lot. She’s still doing her cabaret, her gays live with her, and we meet her man, Michael. Handsome couple. I also appreciated the honesty that Ramona and Sonja live near each other in West Palm and don’t see each other unless they’re filming. At her core, I think Sonja is sweet. She’s just her own biggest problem.

Dorinda Is the Glue, and Kelly Still Offers Nothing

Dorinda is great television and the perfect replacement for Jill Zarin, who was really the one who got this show green-lit and then was out after her derogatory comments about Bad Bunny’s performance. Karma. Like Luann, Dorinda asked Bravo for permission first, and allegedly Bravo punishes these women for working with other networks even when they’re not under contract. Legally, that’s not a thing. Dorinda brings levity to this group, and she just sold some Berkshires land for more than a million dollars while keeping Blue Stone Manor. Ramona is still Ramona, controlling who’s on the guest list at her own event, and I get why some of y’all hesitate to watch anything with her in it. Kelly Bensimon looks exactly like she stepped out of her old seasons, but she offers nothing, and she never did. Because E! is no longer part of NBCUniversal, the Brooke Ashley found out at the premiere party that they didn’t know where it would stream. Now we know: Hulu and Disney+, first two episodes on November 3. I wouldn’t be surprised if The Golden Life beats RHONY in the ratings. How would you rate both? Let me know. Here we go.

Disclaimer: This post is based on publicly available information and credited sources. All allegations are unproven